Embrace the Suck
When something bad happens to you, are you angry and upset, or are you thankful for the learning opportunity presented to you? If you use bad things to learn and you are comfortable with failure, then you know how to embrace the suck.
This is post three of what I call off-topic posts. They are off-topic because they result from new information I received after the course was set. Each of these three off-topic posts is designed to focus on how you think and act. How you think and act is critical to achieving your dreams and living your best life, and I want to ensure you have all of the tools in your toolbox that you need. Let’s dig in, shall we?
In today’s modern world, we are bombarded with information, some facts, some fiction. At this point in my life, I think I’ve heard it all, and most of it is met with a resounding yawn. Because I read a lot and do a lot of research, I see and hear a lot of different facts, figures, and fairy tales. As I said, most of it is met with a quiet “meh,” and then I move on. Every so often, I read something that causes me to take notice. Today, I’m focusing on those startling statistics that are surprising to me in that they are negative and what we can do about them.
Many people do not like their jobs
One such article concerns how many people dislike their jobs (Note 1). This is a startling statistic, especially since after leaving the world of full-time work, I can only think of about two years when I did not enthusiastically look forward to going to work every day. During those two years, it was not the job I did not like; it was the boss. Oh yes, we’ve all had those, haven’t we? If you are a man, you already know that most of your happiness comes from work (Note 2). While I’m not a woman, but I am married, I know that the things I often hear that make women happy include good listening, communication, honesty, reliability, security, trust, and laughter (Note 3). Disclosure: I may be in trouble here…But back to the topic of work. As an adult, unless you are in a position not to have to work, you will most likely be going to work for a long time. I can’t imagine going somewhere every day that I did not like. But, as the statistics show, many people do.
What are your chances of divorce?
Are you married? If you are in a first marriage, you have a 43% chance of it ending up in divorce. Second marriage? 60%. Third marriage? 73% (Note 4). These are impressive statistics, and people who go through divorce often are in a lot of pain. As are their families, especially their children.
The pain of loss
If you’ve ever lost a loved one, you know how painful that can be. I have lost both of my parents. My grandparents lost one of their children to war in WWII. Others have lost loved ones in various ways, including accidents. I don’t have a statistic to quote you, but I don’t think you need one. You know what I mean, and losing a loved one is a special kind of pain that can persist for a lifetime.
Overweight Americans
I’m 66 years old and not the strapping young man I used to be; I’m a tad bigger in the middle than I would like to be. I’m joined by almost 40% of all other Americans (Note 5).
Failure is not final
Have you ever failed at anything? Of course, you have. We all have. I fail a lot! What did you do? One of my favorite quotes goes like this:
“You never fail until you quit trying”-Albert Einstein
A recent source of complaint is that my air conditioner went out. Then there were the delayed flights, the rain that did not come, too much rain, the person who did not show up on time, the cold dinner, and the politician who won that I did not like.
I probably could go on listing things that we don’t like in life, but what’s the use? The point is that in life, there will be things we don’t like, things that cause us pain and suffering, things that make us uncomfortable. Yet, unless we curl up in a corner, we must go on. If we want to do more than exist, we must figure out ways to overcome these things. For example, a recent flight to see my son in Charlotte was three hours late getting there. Coming home, I was six hours late. During this time, I could have fumed and cursed, like the guy sitting next to me, or I could have admitted that there was nothing I could do and acknowledged that no one could have stopped the computer outage, and the crew was working as hard as they could to get me to my destination.
How to act when bad things happen
In his excellent book Embrace the Suck, author Brent Gleeson makes three main points: We should embrace when bad things happen to us, we should get comfortable being uncomfortable, and we should take positive action. What this means is we need to be resilient (Note 6). The next time you think you have it bad, consider the men and women at war. If you do this, you will soon realize your problems are not so bad. Consider the pain, suffering, and death going on around the world. Yeah, maybe my job is not so bad after all. No air conditioning for a few hours? Piece of cake.
Look, here is where I am going with this. Life is not perfect, and every day, we have a decision to make when we wake up. Will I have a good attitude and make the most of today, or will I complain all day? Like my wife likes to say, “Can’t never could.” I would add that “Won’t never will.” I’ll even add one I can’t stand: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
As I conclude these three off-topic posts, I hope you have embraced the points I have tried to make. Life is not perfect or a bed of roses. Bad things happen to good people, and how we think, act, and confront problems largely determines whether we are defeated or victorious. Indeed, here is a final fact for you: Real growth comes through overcoming adversity. That’s right. Growth comes when bad things happen to us. Why is that? Well, when things are going well, we are not challenged or forced to think differently. Anyone can manage or lead during good times. It’s the bad times that separate the leaders of the world. So, when something bad happens to you, embrace the suck. So you can achieve your dreams. So you can live your best life.
What’s in it for Me
If you have learned that you will, in fact, have bad things happen to you, that others have not only overcome but excelled, then you have learned a valuable lesson—a lesson that will make you a better, more resilient person.
Call to Action
Consider problems you have had in the past. How did you overcome them? Are you having difficulties now? Will they defeat you, or will you excel despite them? Time to embrace the suck!
Recommended Resources
Buy and read the book Embrace the Suck by Brent Gleeson (Note 6).
Up Next
Concepts of accomplishment.
Notes
Please note that as an Amazon Affiliate, I may earn a small commission on the sale of any of these recommended resources.
85% of people dislike their jobs: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/85-people-dislike-job-john-canavan/
What makes men happy: https://www.yourwealth.com/what-really-makes-men-happy/
Google “What makes a woman happy.”
Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/
Overweight Americans: https://frac.org/obesity-health/obesity-u-s-2#:~:text=The%20latest%20data%20indicate%20that,7.7%20percent%20are%20severely%20obese.)
Embrace the Suck by Brent Gleeson: https://amzn.to/3Y7tDTb