The Importance of Feedback
“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.”
The past week has been quite busy for me, which has prompted me to discuss an important topic with you. Unfortunately, I did not include this topic in the original course, but I will in future revisions. I’ll take a little time to discuss it with you today so you can see the importance of feedback in setting and reaching your goals, achieving your dreams, and living your best life.
Common examples of feedback
We probably don’t think about feedback often, but we give and receive feedback daily. That feedback can be good or bad, depending upon the situation, the result of the problem, what’s most important at the moment, and what you do with that feedback. The quote at the top of this post is attributed to Mark Twain, that famous American author. If you are like me, you have already pictured this situation in your mind and equated it to instant feedback. What a visual that is! Besides this striking illustration, let me give you some more examples of common feedback you receive daily. See if you relate:
You hear your brakes squeaking on your car, and you know it’s time to change them.
While driving, you see red brake lights in front of you, and you know it’s time to slow down or stop.
Your child touches the hot stove (this is the classic example, right?)
Your son’s football coach tells him he ran the pattern well and won the game.
Your son’s football coach yells at him and asks why he ran the pattern incorrectly.
You write a check, and it bounces.
Your stomach growls because you are hungry. Your stomach aches because you overate.
You stayed up late last night and are tired today. Your job performance suffers.
You went to bed early last night, woke up early, worked out, and had a great day at work.
How do you view feedback? I would venture to say that most of us consider the thought of getting feedback in a negative light. Probably because we think we do a good job, and hey, we don’t need anyone telling us anything anyway, huh?
When I was a manager of a quality auditing department, sometimes we had a good report for an auditee, and everyone was happy. Sometimes, the report was not good. Most people took responsibility for their failure, but some tried to turn it back on the auditor. This is just poor form. They did not follow the procedures, and the auditor discovered it just like they should have and did them a favor in the process.
My wife is one of the kindest people you will ever know, and she rarely says an unkind word. I love the way she provides feedback to me. Let me give you a few examples:
Me: Would you like to go out for Italian dinner tonight? Her: Have you considered Mexican?
Her: You’re not going out dressed like that, are you? Me: What?
Her: If you are not too busy and have a minute, would you mind doing…like I asked you to do last week? Me: Grumble, grumble…
Her: Pass the remote, please. Me: You mean you don’t want to watch baseball again tonight?
The feedback that makes you say, “Huh?”
The feedback examples are typical of what you would receive daily. You would receive it, dismiss it, or act on it and go about your day, never giving it another thought. Then there is the more critical feedback that can change your life if you consider it and act appropriately:
You receive a poor performance report at work and are put on a performance improvement plan
You get laid off or fired
You are diagnosed with a severe medical condition
Someone you know or love becomes sick or passes away
Your home is broken into, or your vehicle is stolen
A storm damages your house
You are in financial trouble
A child is in trouble or otherwise not performing to your expectations
You are having marital problems
You receive a substantial inheritance from a rich uncle who you treated nicely
You bought a risky investment and lost a large part of your retirement savings
In the past week, I have received some feedback that made me take immediate action:
After returning from a cruise, I was feeling poorly. Knowing that one of our group of travelers reported they contracted COVID, I decided to be tested. I was positive and took immediate action to get on the proper medication.
As you know, I am new to blogging, and I’ve received feedback from some people about how I could improve. Yes, it stung a bit, but after I thought about it, I decided they were right and implemented the suggestions.
In the last year, I’ve begun using Grammarly in my writing. The free version has been barking at me a lot and has been most helpful since most of my previous writing has been in technical format. Today, I purchased the Pro version, which has helped point out my opportunities for improvement!
Where the heck are you going with this?
Here’s where I’m going. If you are like me, your initial reaction when someone gives you feedback is to consider it negative, as they are critical of you. However, people who know you well enough, care for you, or love you enough to give constructive feedback are really doing you a favor, and we need to think in those terms.
Here’s a good example that brings it home. The purpose of Afterburner Success Partners is to be a tool or perhaps an opportunity for people who may need some help getting on track financially, professionally, or even personally with what they want to do and experience in life. As I’ve mentioned, Afterburner Success Partners was established, and I write these weekly posts because I desire to give back to others and be helpful. It makes me feel good. But ordinary people typically only want to hear good feedback on how well they are doing. It’s not fun to say, “I need some help with setting and achieving financial goals or getting my career on track.” It makes you sound like you don’t know what you are doing. Or does it? It’s been said that it takes a big person to admit they were wrong or to reach out for help. Anyone willing to ask for help is someone trying to do better. As fellow human beings, who cannot resist the desire to help them?
So when you receive feedback of any kind, don’t just dismiss it. Unless there is an immediate need to respond, such as applying your brakes while driving, stop and ponder the feedback for a moment and see if the information you received could be helpful to you. I’ll bet that, in most cases, the answer is yes!
What’s in it for Me
Look, we all want to get better and improve our lot in life. But often, we can’t see the forest for the trees. That means we are unaware of what is happening around us, what is being said to us, or observant enough to consider closely what it may mean to believe that, instead of being something negative, the feedback we are getting might help us. It may be a backhanded blessing for you!
Call to Action
Sign up for the next available course. Pause momentarily and consider any feedback you received yesterday and today. From the moment you woke up until you went to bed. Did you have an interaction with someone trying to help you that you dismissed? Ponder what was said or done and see if it could really be helpful to you.
Recommended Resources
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Notes
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